Every now and then I can picture my school period again, whilst thinking about my current life as a parent. I mean, sometimes it feels like you go out and play and sometimes you feel really bored, staring at the clock. Another parallel is that you do actually learn a lot. And of course parenting comes with a lot of ‘homework’ as well.
One thing that really got clear to me these past few weeks is how toddlers don’t embarrass themselves, aren’t ashamed or are to busy pleasing others. Though kids are looking at examples in life and towards their parents, they don’t have a lot of standards yet. This makes them free as a bird and a joy to watch.
How I enjoyed my son demanding wearing his sisters’ clothing. How discovering new things in life and learning about anything is without prejudgement. What an example! It becomes clear to me that I don’t need to teach my kids to feel free and follow their strong will to develop their talents and learn about life. Like I already mentioned in this blog. I just have encourage it.
I love the words of the song of ‘Emili Sandé about learning to be free:
“You’ve got the words to change a nation but you’re biting your tongue
You’ve spent a lifetime stuck in silence afraid you’ll say something wrong
If no one ever hears it, how we gonna learn your song?
So come on come on, come on come onYou’ve got a heart as loud as lions so why let your voice be tamed?
Maybe we’re a little different, there’s no need to be ashamed
You’ve got the light to fight the shadows so stop hiding it away
Come on, come on”
The reason I write this, is that in a certain way I feel like I am holding back. Maybe people will say that I am adventurous, with taking lots of risks in my life and not holding on to securities. That is true and I am proud of that. The most regrets I have in life are because I made the wrong choice, instead of holding back.
These regrets came from trusting the wrong people, miscalculating the situation or denying my intuition. That made me sometimes weak. In the end, I believe experiences in life make you humble, more empathic and self-concious about your resilience and confidence. I think that is what people mean with that it makes you stronger. Only, writing just that (stronger) down, feels a little hollow.
Why I am still feeling like holding back? The most challenging in life is not to follow your patterns, but to change some of them. To do believe in what you are capable of it and go 100% for it. I went to Luxembourg with a mission. That mission is to do what I love besides my ‘homework’ as a mother. Now, 6 months after giving birth to Chloé, I do feel I really want to develop my talents in a productive way 100%. Follow my heart and ambitions instead of choosing the easy way for the reason of certainties.
Let’s do this shamelessly, without prejudgments, without standards and add that strong will to learn things in life.